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Not confident dating

It’s no secret that confidence is a magnetizing trait in a man. I didn’t fully understand He was a fantastically interesting, intelligent, and had a dash of snarky humor.

And the longer we knew each other, the more he also used —that spent way too much of her time upholding his fragile pride.

The relationship became all about him finding himself—not a mutual relationship where both parties grew and loved the world together.

Not only was his lack of confidence a cancer that ultimately destroyed our relationship, but it also left us both in a puddle of confusion afterward.

Only after months of analyzing what the heck happened did I realize that I never wanted to experience that again.

Thenceforth, I added confidence as a “must-have” on my checklist. I was treated better, respected more, and I learned more.

If my head was whirling afterwards, it was only from the thrill and excitement of romance—rarely from pulling my hair out in bewildered frustration (which was the norm with my unconfident man).From experience, I learned that true confidence isn’t exactly flashy—and won’t necessarily be obvious unless you know what you’re looking for.In fact, sometimes it’s easier to identify a deeply confident man by what he do, rather than what he does do. Don’t get me wrong—some games will always play a part in relationships. But there’s a difference between innocent, coy flirting, and actively manipulating your girlfriend’s mind.“[A confident guy] doesn’t play [these types of] games because he doesn’t need to,” Chlipala says.“He feels secure in himself and knows he’s a catch, so doesn’t have to resort to tactics to catch or keep a woman’s interest.” In other words, your confusion isn’t some sort of response that he’s using to fuel his ego, taper expectations, or—in my unfortunate case—serve as some form of subtle communication.I can’t count the amount of times I received a confusing text that, had I been some sort of magician who read minds, would have said: “I’m interested in you, but don’t actually want to show it, so I’m going to hint at it in cryptic messages and backhanded compliments that will utterly confuse you, and make you rethink your self-worth.Let’s hang out While there’s a myriad of reasons that a guy might be keeping a bit of distance—including pacing the relationship—if it seems like he clams up after having a discussion about his emotions or vulnerabilities, something could be up.“Sometimes, an insecure guy will act distant because he fears if he gets too close his woman will know the ‘real’ him and not like him,” Chlipala says.Therefore, he’ll keep you at an arm’s length—staying aloof, being noncommittal.Conversely, “A confident guy will be vulnerable—he can express his feelings and interest in you, even if he’s not sure yet whether they will be reciprocated.”Just because a confident guy might be willing to share his vulnerabilities, doesn’t mean he wants you around all the time.As Regina Bethancourt shares, space can be a really good thing for a relationship.

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